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Mommy Make-Overs For Empty Nesters

Sunday, May 12th, 2013

 

I had dinner with one of my dearest girlfriends recently.  By the start of our second glass of wine we got right down to the nitty gritty – “L.A.C. of purpose” (Life After Children).  She is now an empty nester and life without her children in her home has been a serious adjustment  as life as she has known it, is now changed forever. She is a bright, beautiful, enthusiastic woman who runs a multimillion dollar company yet she found she is lacking something…a passion or purpose in this new empty nesting stage of her life. She isn’t sure how to fill all of the evening time that used to be absorbed by the kid’s activities and shared that home just doesn’t feel the same.  The idea of focusing on herself is new territory and the process is a slow one. She has been the ultimate caregiving for years. It is what she does, part of her identity.  I have spoken to many of my mom friends who have also been deflated by this life changing event. It is indeed a lot to take in.

As I have one child down and one to go, I am listening to them carefully and taking notes. I’m preparing myself for that same empty nester syndrome as we speak. I have been told that I was a little crazy for about a year before my oldest daughter left me behind to further her education.  As the days rush closer and closer to senior year for my youngest, I can feel a pinch of sadness each morning as I flash her a smile and wish her a good day at school, knowing there are only 191 more opportunities to say that ever. I’m already starting to morn her absence and she hasn’t even left yet!

It seems to me that no matter how we try, moms just can’t emotionally prepare for this event, we just can’t. It just leaves a hole in the middle of our chest. And there is no one who can fill it but us. As little girls we prepare for adult life by pretending to get married on the school playground and spending countless hours mothering our dollies.  But in all those years, I don’t ever remember pretending that the kids actually grew up and left home!  My dolls never got too old to sit on my lap and listen to their favorite bedtime story or too old to be seen being dropped off at the movies by their mommy.  I don’t ever remember walking into the red, white and blue playhouse my dad built for me, pretending to return home from work to be over- come by the sadness my homes new silence brings when the kids aren’t there to greet me… no more banquets or ballgames to rush off to…just a perfectly clean, perfectly silent, perfectly empty, nest.

Being a mom is like a continual series of small demotions until one day when we finally get fired or retired – I’m not really sure which it is…

As a mom you have dedicated your life to attending ballet recitals, baseball games, band concerts, weekend volleyball tournaments, school plays and talent shows (where of course your child was the best, oh wait, no, that was mine  lol).  You have played Pokémon, Barbie’s, and settled fights over who gets to be the RED Power Ranger. You taught your child to ride a bike and master the multiplication tables.  You have watched endless hours of Bugs Bunny, Banana’s In Pajamas, and Boy Meets World.  You know you’ve caught yourself singing Barney songs in the car even when you kids weren’t with you!  You’ve kissed boo boos, dried the tears of a bad haircut and had uncomfortable but necessary sex talks. You’ve cured everything from colds to crushed hearts.  You’ve dragged your entire family’s luggage from one side of the airport to another all because your little princess wanted a Cinnibon. You have thrown school holiday parties, picked out prom dresses and first cars, spent hundreds of hours worrying about facebook, dating, drugs, alcohol, and college degrees.

You have planned carefully to teach them all of the lessons they would need to successfully go out into the world as a responsible, respectful citizen and then at some point they actually have the audacity put those tools work.  They have left your nest.  Now what?

Now what?  That is the question many empty nesters are asking. Well you can spend day after day curled up under the covers of their empty bed looking at photographs from years past or you can decide that it’s finally time to focus on you and find your next adventure in life.

I see this same empty nester syndrome in many of our patients at Cosmetic Plastic Surgery Clinic.  The ones I see are the take charge empty nesters who aren’t sitting back in their rocking chairs though.  They have been through the dark side of empty nesting and came out swinging.  That is the path I hope to take.  They are finding new careers, new passions, new hobbies. They are taking time to eat better, exercise more, and try new things.  They are acknowledging and take care of the issues that bother them and embracing the things they enjoy.

Before

Mommy Make-Overs are gaining significant popularity not only in Dr. Castillo’s practice but world-wide.  According to the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery, “in 2011, female patients sought to get their pre-baby” form back by requesting 320,000 breast augmentations, 290,000 liposuctions and 144,000 tummy tucks.”  Today, most women would like to remain as youthful as possible.  The body changes that occur during and after pregnancy or during and after menopause can make that near impossible.

“Mommy Make-Overs” aren’t just for new moms. More often, “Mommy Make-Over” procedures are very appealing to women who have recently found themselves to be an empty nester.  In talking with one of our Mommy Make-over patients she shared “For years I’ve dreamed of having my body back.  Now that my kids

After

are gone, I finally have time to focus of me.“

Being a mom, though irreplaceably rewarding, is also the most demanding job you will have. It takes a toll on both your body and your spirit.  Too many nights sitting up polishing off the last of the Ben & Jerry’s while waiting for your new driver to arrive home safely has earned you a thick mid-section to match the already present muffin top, sagging skin and weak abdominal muscles you earned with the birthing of your children. You have lived far too long with elongated, deflated sacks that you used to recognize as breasts before breast feeding your little darlings.

It seems like society has placed mothers in a role that is much like a super-hero of sorts.  More than in years past, today’s moms are BUSY! We do it all! We are educated, over-scheduled, over-worked, under-rested creatures who find time to affectionately care for everyone but ourselves. I often here from mommy make-over candidates that they have been bothered by the appearance of their post-pregnancy breasts and body for years but just never had the time or left over energy to do something about it while they were still raising children.

Samuel Ullman once said “Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up on enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.   So this Mother’s Day wish for all the empty-nest mommy’s out there is to take this opportunity to give yourself a mommy makeover, whatever that may be to you.  You have done your job.  You have introduced kind, successful, respectful citizens into society.  Take a breath, pat yourself on the back.  Now focus on you! Make a list of things you’ve always wanted to do and get started!  Discover new books, old passions, take better care of your health and your skin, take an adventure with a good friend, or maybe even get your body back with a Mommy Make-Over by Dr. Castillo.  You have certainly earned it!  With any luck you will re-discover yourself and your adult children will discover that their confident, interesting, evolving mom is someone they really enjoy spending time with.

Congratulations on a job well-done ladies!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Roxanne

Skincare & Laser Specialist

Cosmetic Plastic Surgery

 

 

 

Top 10 Reasons – Breast Augmentation

Monday, February 6th, 2012

TOP 10 REASONS women elect to get breast implants:

Breast augmentation is one of the most popular cosmetic surgeries performed by Dr. Castillo https://www.cosmeticplasticsurgery.com/cosmetic-surgeon/  in his state-of-the-art surgical facility, Cosmetic Plastic Surgery Clinic in Savoy (Champaign-Urbana area). We are often told by our Champaign, Illinois breast augmentation patients, Bloomington, Illinois breast augmentation patients and patients from the surrounding area that their lives have been truly enhanced by their decision to have breast enlargement. The following are the most popular reasons women elect to have breast augmentation.

1. Larger Breasts – Some women simply would like to have larger breasts. Many women express that small breasts creates a more masculine feeling and they desire to feel more feminine.
2. Volume loss – After child birth / breast feeding, many women experience volume loss and develop sagging breasts. Implants can help to restore their lost volume and position. An increasing number of women utilize breast augmentation as part of a “mommy make-over” to restore their body when they are finished having children.
3. To improve their body balance – Increasing the breast size is often all that is needed to balance out your body proportions.
4. To improve their self-confidence.
5. Breast asymmetry – When one breast is smaller than the other, breast augmentation is often used to equalize the breast size and shape.
6. After weight loss – Weight loss can create significant changes in the shape and size of your breasts. Implants can help to restore the shape and size.
7. Breast shape – Breast Implants can help create a fuller, round breast shape or a natural tear drop shape and increase your cleavage.
8.To increase clothing options Breast Deflation  – Breast augmentation will allow you to wear clothing styles that you were unable to wear prior to surgery.
9. Breast ptosis – Breast ptosis (sagging) occurs for a number of reasons, including age, pregnancy, breast feeding, weight loss, and excessive sun exposure. Implants can add volume or fullness to restore a more youthful look to an otherwise sagging breast.
10. Improve self-esteem– As women, we are our own worst critic. Having breasts that in some way make us feel less than adequate can have a large impact on our self-esteem.

Roxanne Hammond, RMA
Skincare and Laser Specialist
G. D. Castillo, M.D.
COSMETIC PLASTIC SURGERY
Become a Facebook Fan of CPS @  http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cosmetic-Plastic-Surgery/65943304419
https://www.cosmeticplasticsurgery.com
800-252-7123 (within IL)
217-359-7508 Savoy (Champaign-Urbana)
309-662-0436 Bloomington

Roxanne, Cosmetic Plastic Surgery Clinic

Mommy Make-Over

Monday, July 27th, 2009
As little girls, we’ve all watched enough Disney to know that, just in the nick of time, our fairy god mother arrives, waves her glamour wand and poof – happily ever after begins.
Then we have our first child and reality sets in. Who knew such beautiful little angels would do such unspeakable things to our bodies! If you have ever thought “Where is my Fairy Godmother now?” you’re not alone. I think most of us have stood in front of a mirror months or even years after giving birth in hopes that Fairy Godmother will arrive and grant our wish for a mommy make-over! Just like Cinderelli, we take care of everyone around us. We “make the fire, fix the breakfast, wash the dishes, and do the mopping…”
As moms we give so much of our time, energy and love to everyone around us that we often forget to take care of ourselves. We’ve all heard the term “kids can be cruel.”  We just didn’t know it was in reference to what was about to happen to our bodies after pregnancy! We are left with sagging skin where our waist used to be. Breasts are now distorted and stretch out. There is weight gain of the hips and thighs. Our new saddlebags become a quick reminder that we are probably no longer eligible for low rise jeans.
For most of us, pregnancy takes a huge toll on our body. With child-bearing, raising a family, car pool, homework, household chores, not to mention sun damage, age and heredity hovering over us, our own well being and self development can get lost in the shuffle. We are so busy that we don’t even notice until someday, a friend or even a complete stranger makes a comment that really sticks.
Perception is reality. How we view ourselves and how we think others view us determines much of how interactive we are with those around us.  All of the changes we see on the outside can have some damaging effects on the inside as well. We lose self-respect, confidence and spirit.  We become less socially active. Sound familiar?
Since you are reading this blog, I am going to assume there is something about your body that makes you uncomfortable. What is it that bothers you? Do you find yourself repeatedly thinking about a particular area of your face or body?  How many times have you thought about it today? In the last 6 hours?
Maybe it’s your abdomen. Maybe it just hasn’t recovered after the birth of your second child. Often, it doesn’t matter how health conscious and physically fit you are. You cannot exercise away the stretched out, saggy skin hanging from your abdomen that once provided a safe place for your precious bundles of joy to develop. Maybe you find yourself so self-conscious that it is becoming more and more difficult for you to expose your body to your partner. You’ve traded in your bikini for a one piece with a skirt. You find yourself selecting styles of clothing that attempt to hide your body instead of ones that say you are vibrant, assured women.
Maybe you are a single mom who has a strong desire to begin the search for your prince charming. But, saying yes to that first date has you terrified. You don’t feel good about the changes that have occurred in your body. That stops you from coming across as the fun, outgoing, intellectual that you are. Maybe it’s the uncontrollable, extended greeting your arm gives; you know, when the underside of your arm continues to wave to your friend long after you’ve stopped. Maybe you’re an empty nester now and you would like to finally do something for yourself.
Many women are no longer waiting for their fairy godmother to wave her magic wand. They are taking charge, no longer accepting that their distorted bodies are the price they have to pay for having a family. I guess you could say that they are asking Dr. Castillo to wave his magic scalpel instead.
Often, Mothers walk into our office for the first time with their shoulders hanging low. They are reserved, tired, insecure. By the day of their surgery, a change has already begun. It takes courage to take charge and force a change. Of course they are a little nervous. But they are so excited! How many people do you know who head off to surgery with a big smile on their face?  After their “mommy make-over,” they become renewed. They are suddenly reunited with the person they used to be.  Their families have miraculously survived during the recovery period. They have a new brand new attitude. They are energetic. They laugh more. They smile more. They walk straight up, looking out at what the world has to offer.
Cosmetic surgery is not the right choice for everyone. If you are considering it, do your homework. Ask lots of questions at your consultation. If you do not feel comfortable during the consultation, seek out other doctor. You need to develop realistic goals. Having cosmetic surgery will not fix your problems. However, substantial changes can occur in patients who choose cosmetic surgery for the right reasons. It often changes their quality of life. In many cases, patients become motivated to live a more health conscious, socially active lifestyle.
As mothers it’s important to remember that we are also individuals. It’s okay to be a mom and still want to be sexy, current and confident. In fact, who could possibly be a better role model for your children than a self-assured, strong, healthy, enthusiastic mommy?

As little girls, we’ve all watched enough Disney to know that, just in the nick of time, our fairy godmother arrives, waves her glamour wand and poof – happily ever after begins.

Then we have our first child and reality sets in. Who knew such beautiful little angels would do such unspeakable things to our bodies! If you have ever thought “Where is my Fairy Godmother now?” you’re not alone. I think most of us have stood in front of a mirror months or even years after giving birth in hopes that Fairy Godmother will arrive and grant our wish for a mommy make-over! Just like Cinderelli, we take care of everyone around us. We “make the fire, fix the breakfast, wash the dishes, and do the mopping…”

As moms we give so much of our time, energy and love to everyone around us that we often forget to take care of ourselves. We’ve all heard the term “kids can be cruel.”  We just didn’t know it was in reference to what was about to happen to our bodies after pregnancy! We are left with sagging skin where our waist used to be. Breasts are now distorted and stretch out. There is weight gain of the hips and thighs. Our new saddlebags become a quick reminder that we are probably no longer eligible for low rise jeans.

For most of us, pregnancy takes a huge toll on our body. With child-bearing, raising a family, car pool, homework, household chores, not to mention sun damage, age and heredity hovering over us, our own well being and self development can get lost in the shuffle. We are so busy that we don’t even notice until someday, a friend or even a complete stranger makes a comment that really sticks.

Perception is reality. How we view ourselves and how we think others view us determines much of how interactive we are with those around us.  All of the changes we see on the outside can have some damaging effects on the inside as well. We lose self-respect, confidence and spirit.  We become less socially active. Sound familiar?

Since you are reading this blog, I am going to assume there is something about your body that makes you wish you could change. What is it that bothers you? Do you find yourself repeatedly thinking about a particular area of your face or body?  How many times have you thought about it today? In the last 6 hours?

Maybe it’s your abdomen. Maybe it just hasn’t recovered after the birth of your second child. Often, it doesn’t matter how health conscious and physically fit you are. You cannot exercise away the stretched out, saggy skin hanging from your abdomen that once provided a safe place for your precious bundles of joy to develop. Maybe you find yourself so self-conscious that it is becoming more and more difficult for you to expose your body to your partner. You’ve traded in your bikini for a one piece with a skirt. You find yourself selecting styles of clothing that attempt to hide your body instead of ones that say you are vibrant, assured women.

Maybe you are a single mom who has a strong desire to begin the search for your prince charming. But, saying yes to that first date has you terrified. You don’t feel good about the changes that have occurred in your body. That stops you from coming across as the fun, outgoing, intellectual that you are. Maybe it’s the uncontrollable, extended greeting your arm gives; you know, when the underside of your arm continues to wave to your friend long after you’ve stopped. Maybe you’re an empty nester now and you would like to finally do something for yourself.

Many women are no longer waiting for their fairy godmother to wave her magic wand. They are taking charge, no longer accepting that their distorted bodies are the price they have to pay for having a family. I guess you could say that they are asking G.D. Castillo, M.D.,  to wave his magic instead.

Often, mothers walk into our office for the first time with their shoulders hanging low. They are reserved, tired, insecure. By the day of their surgery, a change has already begun. It takes courage to take charge and force a change. Of course they are a little nervous. But they are so excited! How many people do you know who head off to surgery with a big smile on their face?  After their “Mommy Make-Over,” they become renewed. They are suddenly reunited with the person they used to be.  Their families have miraculously survived during the recovery period. They have a new brand new attitude. They are energetic. They laugh more. They smile more. They walk straight up, looking out at what the world has to offer.

Cosmetic surgery is not the right choice for everyone. If you are considering it, do your homework. Ask lots of questions at your consultation. If you do not feel comfortable during the consultation, seek out other doctor. You need to develop realistic goals. Having cosmetic surgery will not fix your problems. However, substantial changes can occur in patients who choose cosmetic surgery for the right reasons. It often changes their quality of life. In many cases, patients become motivated to live a more health conscious, socially active lifestyle.

As mothers it’s important to remember that we are also individuals. It’s okay to be a mom and still want to be sexy, current and confident. In fact, who could possibly be a better role model for your children than a self-assured, strong, healthy, enthusiastic mommy?

 

Click photo to view our Mommy Make-over page

Roxanne Hammond, RMA
Skincare and Laser Specialist
G. D. Castillo, M.D.
COSMETIC PLASTIC SURGERY
Join us on Facebook for news and promotions
https://www.cosmeticplasticsurgery.com
800-252-7123 (within IL)
217-359-7508 Savoy (Champaign-Urbana)
309-662-0436 Bloomington